Figs and Leaves

My pal Denise came at me with a little strawberry basket of soft green balls yesterday at work. "Try it!" she said, holding one of the balls out to me. (This sort of thing happens often where I work; it's an organic produce distributor.) I bit into the plump, slippery sweetness of the most delicious fig I've ever tasted. It felt sort of soft-hairy inside, with a thin outside skin as soft as a baby's. She told me it's an Adriatic fig.

"Hmm," I said, thinking, "It's sorta... sexual."

"TOTALLY!" Denise concurred, smirking. "Heh heh. Do you like FIGS?" She said in a low, sexy hiss, wriggling her eyebrows. Oftentimes, Denise has the lowbrow humor of a 7th grade boy. It's really funny.

Here's the inside of an Adriatic fig.

Do *you* like figs?