I live in an apartment in a building of four apartments. One of my biggest obsessions is my neighbors. When we first moved in in October, I left each unit some baby pumpkins and gourds for Halloween. No one said thank you, hi, bye or "kiss my ass." I had so hoped for friendly neighbors! But clearly, I wasn't getting them.
In one unit, there is a young heterosexual couple with a pit bull and an adorable 1 year old baby (seems like a bad combo, but what do I know). I don't obsess on them because they seem easy to understand - average young couple, guy wears blue scrubs to work, woman apparently takes care of baby, she wears bootleg jeans and stilettos a lot when they go out, they walk their dog and pick up its poo responsibly. We smile and say hi. Once, I heard them fighting (well, she was screaming and he was murmuring) as I was taking out the recycling and walked past their door, but hey, all couples do. The baby probably screams and cries but because I don't live above them, I don't care. I don't hear it.
My downstairs neighbors - now that's a whole 'nother story for another day!
My "across the way" neighbor, now - I wonder about him. He's pretty quiet, he's going bald at a young age, sometimes I hear people come over, then his kitchen cabinets open and close, then I hear the people saying "goodbye" and "thanks", all within a few minutes. This is what led me to believe he was a drug dealer, but it turns out he works at my boyfriend's workplace and does computer stuff. So boring compared to dealing drugs! He has a teal-colored car. (Ick. But maybe it was a good deal, or someone gave it to him.) His girlfriend is Ross.
He's just an average-looking, average-height, average-weight white guy. But he has SUCH BAD FASHION that I just want to break into his apartment, tie him up, give away all his clothes, then untie him and TAKE HIM SHOPPING. There's nothing I love more than Boy Dress-Up.
Above is a photo of him in one of his boring, boring outfits. Slightly nerdy jeans, a stupid tee shirt, and black boots. (And yes, that is how trashy and crappy the grass looks where I live. Crazy overpriced apartment with crappy landscaping! Makes me CRAZY!)
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