Smells Like a Ross Dressing Room

My boyfriend and I have this saying: Smells like a Ross dressing room.

What does that smell like? A combination of flowery powdery cheap perfume and dirty panties.

(Generally, it really bothers me when people - usually men - say that women smell down there, like fish, or whatever.
Because it's generally not true, and I think hairy scrotums get hotter, sweatier and stinkier than anyone's vulva, and saying women smell like fish is mysogynistic. However - there is a certain sweaty, musky, unwashed smell that people get, especially if they ARE sweaty, unwashed and wearing non-breathable underwear and pants. And THAT is ROSS DRESSING ROOM SMELL.)

I never shopped at Marshall's, Ross or other discount stores till I was an adult. My mom is a snob and has always been a nice-department-store-snob, even when I was growing up and she had hardly any money. She would rather go into a clean, organized Nordstrom and buy one tee shirt than go to Ross, dig through the racks, breathe the Ross Dressing Room Smell, elbow other bargain-hunters out of the way, and possibly find a whole outfit for the same price. But back a few years ago I had a friend who always dressed beautifully and told me it was because she went to Ross every week and looked for things.
So I started going every once in a while. There are three Ross stores I have been to; each one smelled the same! Especially the dressing rooms...

So now if I go, I just buy things without trying them on. This means that I mostly just get cute tee shirts. They're right in the front of the store, so I don't really have to enter the depths of Ross, and they're arranged by size, and I quickly flip through them all looking for ones that are cute and also made in USA, Italy, Japan and Germany. This is just because I'm trying to avoid purchasing sweatshop-made clothing.

So, two shots of my miniscule bust in one week! I got a tee shirt that says, "Fun Loving Brunette." I like shirts that says things, but not overtly sexual things like, "Ride a Cowboy," and all the slutty things that appear on young women's tee shirts.
Like "JUICY" right across the ass of a pair of velour sweatpants. I mean, come on. Sure, Juicy Couture is a brand, but having JUICY across your ass is only going to make people EXAMINE your ass and think "juicy ass? Nah. juicy coochie? YEAH!"
I'm not into talking dirty for free. So "Fun Loving Brunette" seemed playful and not suggestive.

One last thing - my next door neighbor has a new girlfriend who is over all the time. She drives the exact same car as me so the first time I saw it parked in front of our walkway, I thought I'd accidentally let my car roll out of my parking spot and I almost peed myself. But our similarities end there. For one thing, she wears some kind of hideous, cloying, overly sweet, chemically perfume... kind of like Clinique Happy (most horrible perfume EVER) mixed with dirty panties and ROSS.
So now, I just refer to her as ROSS. Perfect timing! As I am writing this, ROSS is outside my window. Hey, it looks like she got her hair highlighted.

Photo of Ross.