Shoe Musings

Someone today showed me the shoes she bought for her wedding in September; she's very excited; they're Repetto dance shoes; she got them on sale for $120. That got me thinking, if I were going to buy a pair of shoes today for under $120 (GOOD LUCK!), which ones would I get?

Okay, so it would be THESE. In fact, I may have to get them; they're ridiculously cute and very reasonably priced. I've had good experiences with this brand of shoe before, too! The back of the shoe is the best part. Please go to Nordstrom.com right now, because they have a little 360 degree viewer thing so that you can see the incredibly awesome back of this shoe!

GO AND SEE!

Dedicated to the Cherry Hegemony

My friend Meagan coined the term "The Cherry Hegemony". It's sort of an inside joke with us, so I can't explain it here, until I ask her if it's okay to share!

Let's just say that we both admit it very grudgingly when we like cherry iconography and imagery, which we feel is just over-played and un-original.

I don't know, maybe it's summer, stonefruit season, the big, sweet Bing cherries at our work... or the very real delight at finding the pairs still attached, maybe even with a little leaf still stuck on and showing them to each other... but I've been liking a lot of cherry imagery lately! I tend to get obsessed with images and patterns, for example, before you knew me, I was a leopard print addict, and, well there's that Hello Kitty problem I have. I feel some kind of cherry thing coming on.

This awesome, modern necklace is from Arena CPH, apparently a Danish design collective.

Visitors from Another Planet

The three freakiest things on this earth are mushrooms, spiders, and eyeballs. (Okay, maybe the penis ranks up there too.) This is how trumpet mushrooms are cultivated!

I didn't even take this photo; a co-worker took it on their recent visit to Gourmet Mushrooms, Inc. in Sebastopol, California. As much as I wanted to go, what with my fascination with mushrooms and all, I just couldn't, because someone unbearable was going and I thought if I had to listen to her pontificate while trapped in a tour van with her I would probably projectile vomit on her face and ruin the trip for everyone with my stomach acids and half-digested breakfast.

Some people think mushrooms are visitors from another planet, and I am one of those people...

Sex on the Beach

Part of my job is what I think of as documenting people. I count who comes and goes, mark birthdays and anniversaries, interview new employees and take their photo, take care of a beautiful employee photo wall (and the photos are awesome black and white portraits, full of movement and personality, not like stiff yearbook photos) where people come and people go. Our staff members get to visit farms all the time, and I can't always go, so I'm always trying to collect the photos people take on their farm tours for our newsletter, website and just archives in general.

The funny thing about people and their digital cameras is that a lot of people have one and don't know how to work it.
People often hand me their cameras, happy to share their mushroom or strawberry farm photos, or whatever, just the camera, without any way for me to get the photos out. "Do you have the connector cord?" might as well be printed on my tee shirt for how often I say it! We're really at square one... never mind the fact that our IT director (and my good friend) wants us to put the photos on a flash drive instead of e-mailing them and clogging up the servers... anyhow, I get a lot of cameras that not only have the mushroom and strawberry photos, but also the sister in law's third cousin's wedding photos, or random photos of a couch for sale, and, most recently, My Trip to the Hawaiian Islands. For this, my co-worker deserves to be posted on my blog in her modest black bathing-suited, sun-baked glory. I protect her identity with a discreet black bar... heh heh...

Now, if anyone ever gives me their digital camera with their homemade amateur porn pics, beaver shots, husband's limp pink member, etc., they are fair game. Blackmail!

Lychee Me

Organic lychees only come once a year, and look, I have a whole box!

There are two bad things about fresh lychees--one, the seed is poisonous, and it just seems weirdly risky putting the fruit in your mouth, nibbling around the seed (like with an olive) and spitting the seed out. It's not as though you're EATING the poisonous seed, but still, it's in your mouth. Kind of like those people who swallow swords or put venomous snakes in their mouths--they're not EATING the sword or the snake, but it's freaky that it's IN THEIR MOUTHS.

The other, much less weird but still annoying thing about lychees is peeling them. Their skin is tough and leathery, and you have to jab your fingernail into the skin to make a starter hole, and then you can peel the skin off like the shell of a hardboiled egg. After a while, the jabbing starts to make your fingertip feel tender, right under the nail. Then you have to switch to a steak knife for the jabbing. Lychees are messy and labor-intensive...a lot of seed for a little juicy flesh...kind of like pomegranates...
but hell, they're only here once a year and they're super delicious!

Steven Shein Necklaces

I want these! They're made of plastic resin, and are about $100 each, which seems a little steep considering they're plastic and they sort of look, for all their cuteness, like you could get something similar at Forever 21 for about $6.99.
But I haven't tried them on; maybe they feel heavy and good; who knows. The designs are fun and a lot of them remind me of childhood... roller skates, lightning bolts, rainbows and other similar iconography.


Steven Shein's site... and it has a LOT of Flash animation and bright colors, so if you're epileptic or prone to migraines, be forewarned!

7.10.2007

Note:

Hey, designer Steven Shein e-mailed me to let me know that his necklaces are made by a small team of craftspeople (rather than being mass-produced by machines in a factory). That rocks... and justifies the price, I'd say!

The Flag

Hey, it's the 4th of July. I'm at work!

This version of the American flag, in sweet bubblegum pink and white, is by artist Maurizio Savini. It's interesting... if you click the picture you can see all the texture in the piece. I don't know what it means to the artist, as I can't find anything written about this piece online (in English). I found the image in last month's ArtForum.

I love fireworks. When I lived in Southern California, in the San Fernando Valley, I lived in an apartment with roof access. Fireworks were shot off from nearby stadium. All the tenants would go onto the roof, and the stadium was so close by that the fireworks seemed as though they were right over our heads. If you were lying down you could almost see the shower of sparks come down around you.

Last year DD and I shivered on the grass at Crissy Field in San Francisco. The fog was so thick there were no fireworks to be seen--only heard. The only fun part was walking back home twirling my glow sticks around for all the people who were stuck in traffic. Not only were they as foolish as we were for going to Crissy Field in the fog, they were even more foolish for driving!

On patriotic holidays I sometimes miss my mother and my stepdad and their suburban-rural Southern California life. If I were there today, it would be the barbeque (with my stepdad turning the chicken and hamburgers with the same spatula and me trying to ask him not to do that since my partner doesn't eat red meat), swimming pool, blender margaritas, and the dry desert heat that I grew up with. Here in San Francisco, it's half a day of work, a pink and white flag, and who knows what else later. Maybe Thai food and a bubble bath!

Essie "Vinyl Bikini"

I've found a beautiful new nailpolish (new to me, that is); it's by Essie and it's called "Vinyl Bikini". It's unimpressive in the bottle... looks like a combination of skim milk and water. But when it's on your nails, it gives a super shiny, semi-sheer finish that's glossy like clear polish, lets the natural color of your hopefully healthy nail beds show through, but has enough opacity to give a slightly fake finish, too. It's kind of like the effect of a French manicure, but less Stepford Wife-ish.
I know Essie's Ballet Slippers pink is their bestselling color and blah blah, but that baby pink business is just not suited to everyone's taste. Seriously--it's all about Vinyl Bikini! And honestly, what's sexier... ballet slippers, or vinyl bikinis? Mmhmm.

Bodum Pavina Double-Walled Glasses

I bought a set of two of these glasses at Sur La Table in San Francisco. They're great-looking and you can put hot drinks or cold drinks in them; you don't feel any heat or cold in your hand (which is weird and kind of nifty) and I can put them on my glass coffeetable and they don't make any condensation. One of my friends liked mine so much that she bought some for herself.

Peace, Man

Sheesh, my dad is such a peace-lovin' hippie. Not only does he frequently address me as "man", as in "hey, man..." Also, while I'm busy hating people for their cycling pants and necklaces, he sends me this e-mail; this is all it says.


Subject: the 14th Dalai Lama


"I look at every human being from a more positive angle: I try to look for their positive aspects. This attitude immediately creates a feeling of affinity, a kind of connectedness."

How ever did he come to have such a shallow daughter? Ha ha ha.

Grrrrrr!

I like Kenneth Jay Lane's enamel jewelry on a long goldtone chain, like the strawberry that comes in red, clear, black and coral colors, the pear, and my favorite, the apple.
I've long wanted one (I want the white apple one) but it always seems I want something else more, so I've not gotten one.

Imagine my HORROR when the most foul woman at my work showed up dressed in one of her spectacularly horrid outfits, yet wearing this Kenneth Jay Lane red strawberry necklace! She was also wearing some kind of sleeveless velveteen electric blue top she sewed herself. Sewing is cool and I admire people who know how... but her fashion sense is horrible, her clothes are horrible, she often cycles to work and stays in her cycling clothes all day (cropped black Spandex cycling pants with weird little triangle designs down the legs plus yellow cycling jacket, underneath which is worn a boxy olive colored tee shirt that says ALLOWED FULL USE OF LANE on the back). I'm only being so mean about her clothing because she also has money, and she also makes our work lives hellish. She trotted cheerfully up the stairs past me, and I swear I almost fell down the stairs from the shock of seeing her wearing a bizarrely out of place trendy item like this. They have them at the big Bloomingdale's downtown. I would not think this woman would go near a Bloomingdale's, ever.

What will she be rocking next?! I couldn't have been shocked had she shown up with a Mohawk hairstyle and Joe's Jeans and Louis Vuitton shoes.

Tiny Victorian

I felt sorry for this little mint green house, squeezed between the two taller ones to either side. A lot of the houses in San Francisco touch each other, which looks really strange to people who are used to houses having more space around them, and, uh, side yards, even! I'm used to the way it looks, but this little house seems dwarfed and shadowed by the pink Victorian to its right and the ugly monster to its left.

Personalized Plates

Personalized license plates have been somewhat on my mind lately, ever since one of my committees at work put forth the idea of changing "SUS AG" on the license plate of the truck on our website homepage to "ORGANIC". Personally, I'm rather glad the proposal got a "thumbs down". I think SUS AG is fun, and personalized license plates are supposed to be kind of fun to try and figure out. "Organic" seemed a little too dumbed-down.

As I was thinking about this on my drive home today, an SUV ugly monster vehicle thing turned in front of me. MBA JD something something it read. Barf! How smug and pretentious to have your degrees on your vanity plates. Vanity plates, indeed.
Oh, I'm just annoyed that there's no good way to abbreviate "Useless Degree in English with an Emphasis in American Lit".

Who Farted?

Today at work my friend was showing me a fancy pen she got recently. I told her that when I test pens at a store I always used to write "hello" over and over again, but recently I've started writing "who farted?" because someone is going to be testing pens on the same pad of paper and it will be hilarious if it's someone uptight and they read what I wrote. Every time I write, "who farted?" on tester pads at a store I just crack myself up. It's very immature, I know!

We have two bathrooms at work; one is a single and one has two stalls. Today I was walking toward the one with two stalls with the meanest lady at my workplace. I often get that "shy bladder" thing where I can't urinate with other people around, but if I have to pee really badly I always can. So I figured it would be fine to go into the bathroom with her this time. So I went into one stall and a second later she went into the other one. While I was urinating, she sat down (presumably) and there was this long pause, and then she farted. It was one of those long drawn out horse farts... I laughed to myself and I kept smiling while I was washing my hands and applying hand lotion, but I couldn't look her in the eye or I was afraid I would really laugh. Then I went running around frantically looking for my friend so I could tell her this story, but I couldn't find her anywhere.

Now if you have a mac, go immediately and download the whoopee cushion widget and click it a few times while writing "who farted?" in your most beautiful, formal handwriting. HA HA HA!

The Grass is Never Greener.

After all my bitching about my downstairs neighbor, she's moving out. She's moving out, and I realized tonight that I desperately want her to stay! She slams her cabinets when she's hungrily rummaging for her Costco stash, and she has some crazy bass boosted surround sound TV on which she plays movies that all sound like Platoon and Saving Private Ryan (machine gun fire, etc.) BUT she's single and she doesn't mingle. There aren't frat boys all over the place, she doesn't leave shoes, surfboards, little decrepit Weber barbeques and dead potted plants outside her door, no audible bad porn movies or people with demential screaming Jesus' name at the recycling bins outside. These are all experiences I've had within the past few years.
I actually LIKE two of the three other tenants in our building, and even Jamie Downstairs is tolerable. Finally, I'm in a good situation. And now she's posted an ad to sublet her apartment. Woe is me. DD says to cheer up, because someone single, small and quiet might move in yet, but I'm feeling rather pessimistic.

Hidden Tape

I like to giftwrap, and I'm pretty good at it. My mom taught me how. Everyone in our family wraps the same way. Well, at least my grandma did, (she passed away), my mom does, and one of my aunts does, too. My special signature is that I hide the tape by either using double-stick tape beneath the flaps of the paper, or by using stickers or seals instead of tape to hold a flap down. This is a gift for a nineteen-year-old I know; for her birthday; hence the bubblegum pink ribbon. I love this giftwrap paper; it's very heavy and rich-feeling and it behaves beautifully. (The most difficult material to wrap with is shiny foil paper; it's very unforgiving and it dents and wrinkles and gets fingerprints easily.)

I put somewhat matching Hello Kitty stickers on the two sides of the box to hold the paper down.

Ceramic Knives

My dad sent me this ceramic-blade paring knife. When I called to thank him, he went on and on telling me how sharp it is and how I should be very careful to turn the vegetable and not the knife if I'm paring something. "Uh huh... okay..." I agreed. I didn't remind him about the time when I was fifteen and we were in Hawaii and he sliced open his hand cutting some sugarcane of all things, and I had to drive our rental car to an emergency room. I didn't have my license and didn't really know where I was going, and all because Mr Camping, Fishing and Safe Knife Handling Man was cutting toward himself rather than away-from.
Ha ha ha.
Anyhow, this mofo really is sharp. I sliced up a cucumber into paper-thin slices for fun, and it also cut through a hard raw sweet potato as if it were soft cheese. Sharp indeed; I'll be careful!

Alfajores by Sabores Del Sur

These alfajores are delicious little flaky, buttery cookies, made by Guisell Osorio; her company is called Sabores del Sur. The cookies are shortbread-y and there's some dulce de leche filling inside, and they're sprinkled with powdered sugar. They melt in your mouth and are sooo amazing!

Cleaner Glass...Windex

The smells of Clorox bleach, Pine Sol and Windex evoke my mother. One whiff of Windex and I'm back in the baby crib. She's a total clean freak. I still remember when "Soft Scrub with Bleach" came out. She was so excited, happily explaining to me why Soft Scrub with BLEACH is so much better than the plain Soft Scrub they had before.

I grew up thinking that Windex was a verb, as in "you need to Windex the table/mirror/window/sliding glass door". Mom and I could often be found Windexing our Windexable surfaces on Saturday mornings (Saturday was official housecleaning day).

I like a clean house full of clean glass surfaces, too. There are 31 Windexable surfaces in my living room alone. But I don't like the smell of Windex, and would rather use a less toxic product.

The three I have in rotation are: Earth Friendly Products Window Kleener (leaves streaks), Mrs Meyer's Clean Day Window Spray (smells awesome, like lavender), and my recently acquired Method Glass Cleaner. It's supposed to smell like mint, and it kind of does. It's also got that comfortingly blue Windex color... comforting because it reminds ya of Windex. The Method one works the best, Mrs. Meyer's second best, and Earth Friendly "Kleener" with a K is the worst. If you hate fragrance, it's the best, though, because it just smells like vinegar. Unfortunately, Windex works better than all three of these, but I'm not giving up my search for the perfect glass cleaning alternative to Windex.

My Be@rbrick Andre 400% and 100%

Be@rbricks are collectible adult toys (by "adult toys" I'm not saying sex toys) made by a company called Medicom in Japan. The bears come in a vast array of colors and designs; it's kind of mind-blowing, actually. It might just be the most mind-blowing collectible thing I've ever seen, with the exception of Limoges porcelain boxes. People who collect Be@rbricks are as addicted and fervent as any antique hunters. I don't collect Be@rbricks, I just think they're fun and cute and weird. I received this 400% (the big one) and 100% Be@rbrick set. This one was designed by French graffiti artist Andre.