An L.A. Vintage Car

It is quite possible that I will never get over missing Los Angeles. I have lived in the San Francisco Bay Area for four years now.
There are a lot of things I like about San Francisco, but I hate the weather. I know - I'm being a baby - there's no snow, it's nothing like the East Coast or Canada or the Pacific Northwest or... Siberia. But compared to Southern California, where I spend the first twenty-something years of my life, SF is cold and bitter and damp and bone-chilling and gray.

Just a few days ago I was shopping and eating a salad at the Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica, California. (Without a sweater, a scarf, or tights. Just sunglasses.) DD and I saw this cool lavender car with violet flames on the sides and white walled tires. I don't know what kind of car it is, but it sure is beautiful!

Happy New Year's Eve!

The Asian Mannequin

I saw this Asian mannequin at a Victoria's Secret downtown today (downtown San Francisco, that is). I was surprised to see her; I don't know that I've ever seen an Asian mannequin at a VS before! Mannequins are rather scary; I'm not sure if I think that because they look so fake or because they look so real. In this case, it's more the gray pallor of her "skin" that creeps me out. I wonder how much cheap mannequins like this one at Victoria's Secret cost?

For a few thousand dollars, you can get a much more realistic Realdoll. They have a few Asian versions, too, for the Asian fetishists out there. They are named Mai, Kaori and Rui. That cracks me up. Another thing that cracks me up is that the website lists the features and benefits of the dolls and says, "Relaxing and Comforting - provides stress-free companionship". Well, dang.


Caution: this site has X-rated content (okay, maybe it's more like NC-17 content):

Realdolls

A fine art photographer named Elena Dorfman made a book called Still Lovers, documenting the lives of people and their Realdolls.
It's fascinating.

Elena Dorfman's Still Lovers

It would be hypocritical of me to say it's weird to buy and live with and love a Realdoll. For one thing, I try to reserve judgement about others' sexual practices, as long as they don't harm others, and I hardly think anyone is being nonconsentually hurt in these situations. Besides, I have a stuffed polar bear that I'm so attached to that I take him traveling with me!

Goodbye, Hello Kitty

For years (about thirty) I've loved Hello Kitty. It feels very strange to say this, but I think I'm officially over it. I don't dislike Hello Kitty now, and I still love some of the Hello Kitty things I have (my Tarina Tarantino necklaces, for example) but I've oversaturated myself with Hello Kitty and I just can't take it anymore. It's like sweets at Christmas... they're all around me at work, and I think if I eat one more thing with sugar in it, I will throw up. Any sweet tooth I had has officially been killed by the abundance of Christmas treats... and Hello Kitty shall follow.

I knew something was happening a few years ago when I suddenly started to avoid Hello Kitty items that were pink. Once upon a time, in the late 70's, Hello Kitty things were always red and white. At some point, pink took over, and now most Hello Kitty things are pink. I started to only buy things if they weren't pink. I like pink - just not Hello Kitty and pink together. For the past few months I've just felt sort of "blah" whenever I see Hello Kitty stuff. I passed the Sanrio store a few times lately with no desire to go inside and see what was new. I purged my stationery collection, plus I started getting into really nice cotton writing paper, and Sanrio stationery, while cute, is just not printed on very nice paper. It is strange to think that something I've liked for so long, and been associated with for so long (and people know I like Hello Kitty. They give me things, and tell me they saw this Hello Kitty thing and that Hello Kitty thing) is something I am leaving. I guess it's all part of growing up. When I asked my mom why her house was getting more traditional and less modern in style and decor, she just said, "Your tastes change." I guess I'm losing my taste for Hello Kitty.

Ain't No Carrie Fisher (Eragon, the Movie)

I really loved Eragon, the novel by Christopher Paolini, as well as its sequel, Eldest. I'm eagerly anticipating the third novel in the trilogy. I like science fiction and fantasy; the hard core fantasy people among us would consider me a mere dabbler, but I've read my share of Piers Anthony (the whole Xanth series), Anne McCaffrey, Orson Scott Card and the like.

Naturally I saw this movie this past weekend. I was somewhat disappointed by it. The first photo is the character Arya, who in the novel was described as black-haired, green-eyed, a ferocious fighter, pointy-eared (she's an elf) and stunningly beautiful. I was expecting something more like Liv Tyler in Lord of the Rings. Or even Kira from The Dark Crystal. Every time DD and I are disappointed by a female fantasy character in a film, we always compare her to Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia in Star Wars, and we say, "She ain't no Carrie Fisher."

Re-Gifting

Is re-gifting rude? 'Tis the season of Secret Santa office name-drawing and generic gift-giving. I don't think re-gifting is rude if you're giving something you don't need and won't use to someone who will enjoy it a lot more than you will. There's nothing wrong with that. As annoying as it all can be, I still think you should try to get a somewhat thoughtful gift for the person whose name you draw, even if it is your bitch of a boss. Well, I actually really like my boss (and feel lucky to have her as a boss), but you know what I mean. So far, this is what DD and I have given away in the Christmas (excuse me - "holiday") office giveaways:

1 book about mixing drinks (to someone who appears to be an alcoholic)
1 Elvis Presley Christmas tree ornament (DD bought and gave this. I shuddered when I saw it.)
1 Japanese calendar and 1 pack of multicolored wooden chopsticks (in a generic white elephant giveaway at my department holiday party)
2 Dagoba lavender blueberry chocolate bars and 2 bars of chocolate soap (to the receptionists at my work)
1 Pharmacopia lavender hand cream and bath salts + 1 Dagoba lavender blueberry chocolate bar to one receptionist at his work
1 Pharmacopia lavender shower gel and 1 body lotion + 1 Dagoba lavender blueberry chocolate bar to another receptionist at his work

(Yeah, I know. DD's receptionists got bigger gifts than mine... but... I'm on a tight budget. Plus, one of the receptionists at my work is also my friend outside of work, so I got her another gift, too.)

Okay, I re-gifted the Japanese calendar. My Dad got it for me. He gets me a beautiful Japanese calendar every year, which is cool, but now I don't even have my own workspace at work, I just float along to any empty desk with a laptop, so there was no place to hang the calendar. So I re-gifted it.

Here's some of the stuff we've received in the Secret Santa White Elephant Office Parties:

1 bottle of red wine
2 stemless Breast Cancer awareness Champagne glasses (they're pink)
2 battery-operated light-up desktop fountains (DD received these and loves them. Thank God he has decided to keep them at his workplace, where they belong)
1 company keychain (DD's company)
1 Timbuk2 brand messenger bag with company name on it (every single person at DD's company received one. All 1,500 of them. I joked that he should post a "missing bag" email and describe the bag. "black with a blue stripe... has the company logo on it... anyone seen my bag?")
1 margarita recipe book, 1 margarita glass
1 miniature lava lamp nightlight (I love it. It's plugged in in my bathroom. I stole someone's gift in the White elephant gift game. "I would never steal someone's gift," she told me. "Obviously, I would," I replied, cackling.)

It was reported that one person at my work was unhappy with the white elephant gift she received and loudly announced she would re-gift it. Even though I think re-gifting is fine, it's only fine if it's done delicately. Announcing to your coworkers that you were dissatisfied with your gift is just F-ing rude. Also f-ing rude - another co-worker opened her white elphant gift (exotic hot cocoa mix with chiles in it) and declared, "I got sick off this last year!" I really like that brand of hot cocoa; it's expensive and it's delicious. I kind of wanted to chastize her for being rude and then demand she hand the chocolate over to me. Another co-worker of mine was miffed at herself for giving away the really nice bamboo cutting board that she secretly (and not so secretly) wanted to keep. I've heard her mention this a few times. If it's making you sad enough that you have to mention it a few times, you should have never given it away in the first place! I hope she's learned her lesson. I know I've learned a few through this holiday season, but the biggest is: don't be an ungrateful bitch! Or maybe... don't do these forced gift giveaway things at work at all. They bring out the worst in all of us.

My Fountain Pen

I am the overjoyed owner of a new Conklin fountain pen! It has a custom-made italic nib (the flat type of nib that people associate with calligraphy) so that the person writing with it (me!) gets a thick and thin line variation in the writing. Pens like this improve anyone's handwriting. I tested many pens and this one was my favorite. It writes boldly, has a generous (even heavy) ink flow, and feels very comfortable in the hand. DD bought it for me as a Christmas gift, but my calligraphy teacher cleaned and filled the pen and said that it's good to use your fountain pen every day, or else the ink can get a little dry and clogged, so I received the gift early. Which is great, because I really, really wanted to start writing with it right away!

Knitting Gifts

I knit and crochet; mostly knit. I do this sporadically, increasing my knitting frequency in winter. Knitting lore says to never knit a sweater for your boyfriend or girlfriend because it will cause a breakup (much like the taboo against tattooing oneself with a lover's name). I've made a few knitted and crocheted gifts for friends; I don't do it often, because it's a lot of work and you're never really sure if that person's going to like and use the thing you made. If you buy someone something they don't use, does it really matter? Sure, you may have spent your hard-earned money on the gift, but did you have a hand in the creation of the gift? No!

Now a knitted gift - on the other hand - is intense. Every inch of that yarn has passed through the knitter's hands.

Which is why I thought it was so very, very strange that I saw my EX-very close friend on a street corner in Downtown San Francisco yesterday... with a big mauve ombre scarf I crocheted for her a few years ago (when we were still friends) wrapped around her neck! What a freak! I threw away every single thing she'd ever given me long ago, except for a Junko Mizuno book she gave me, which I couldn't bear to throw away, so instead I put it in a box and stacked it with her other unpacked moving boxes in her garage, where her grandchildren will probably find it in fifty years when she dies.

... More Bags

The two Harajuku Lovers camo bags DD gave me, along with Herbig...

Rhodia Paper

Rhodia notebooks are something of a cult classic. The covers are some kind of tough, coated paper, and the paper itself is incredibly smooth vellum. The pads come in a wide range of sizes, from tiny to a full 8.5" x 11". The classic pads are gridded with faint lavender lines. I'm realizing that I don't like that graph paper so much (both the pads I have are the graph paper type), but they also made the larger pads plain and ruled. The paper is really a pleasure to write on.

My New Tote

Part of my Luna-versary gift from DD is my new tote bag. It's so big we call it "Herbig." There's a show I've been renting on DVD called "Dead Like Me" and part of it takes place in a temp office called "Happy Time." For many reasons, I love office humor, like the British show "The Office" and the old movie "Office Space."
I don't watch TV (I don't have cable. I worked for Time-Warner Cable as a salesperson in college and had enough TV and cable information and marketing shoved down my throat and stuffed into my brain to last a lifetime!) but I rent films and the occasional out-of-date series sometimes. Anyhow, the office manager character on "Dead Like Me" is named Dolores Herbig. When Dolores tells anyone her name, she says, "Herbig, as in Her Big Brown Eyes?" and points to her eye. My new tote bag is named Herbig, as in Her Big Harajuku Lovers Tote Bag.

Tote bags are hit-or-miss: your things can get lost inside, and they have the potential to get ridiculously heavy and cumbersome, depending on how much stuff you stuff into them. I have my stuff in subdivided bags within the tote bag; there's a makeup bag, a pen case, a big, thick envelope for paperwork, receipts and mail, and a mini-purse with my wallet and keys inside, so if I want to leave work for an errand, I can just grab that mini-purse instead of the whole tote bag. The secret to making a Herbig tote bag functional is having smaller bags within the big bag, plus purging the contents of the bag at least every few days. Also, the Herbig cannot be too heavy, or it's bad for your shoulders and back.

The second photo shows the little dangling charm that comes attached to the bag. It's a little image of Gwen Stefani. I also added a Sanrio cell phone charm (the pink and blue hearts) to make it more interesting.

Luna-versary

DD and I are not married, and for now at least, we've committed to not getting married until everyone who loves each other and wants to get married in the United States can - meaning: We won't get married till lesbian and gay couples can. I'm not trying to preach or to say that this is the right stance for anyone else - it's just something that's important to us.

We've been partnered for five years, but every month we count our "Luna-versaries," rather than anniversaries. I mean, a year is long time to wait for a celebration, a nice dinner out, and a gift, isn't it?

DD has great style, and is the kind of person who can carry fashion off very well. You know how some men look best a little understated, dressed in classic clothing? He's one of the lucky ones who look good dressed with a touch of flamboyance, and although that quality is not necessarily related to age and body type, he's young enough and slender enough to get away with rather a lot of flamboyance.
I love his sense of style, and I love that my partner is cool enough to wear these crazy limited edition half-shelltop "Cities" sneakers. They come in "LA", "New York City", "Kingston" and "San Juan". He wanted them: I got them for him for our Luna-versary.

Neighborhood Cat

There are two cats that are always hanging around outside, enjoying the breezes, the occasional rays of warm sun, and the twittering of wild birds. They seem more like little tiny wildcats than the domesticated kinds of housecats you pet and pull off your couch arms. There's this one and a tabby one that blends into the landscape better. I like this one a lot. He once sat still and watched a gopher hole for an hour! I was supposed to be working on something at my computer at home but kept looking out the window to see if he was still there.

Rocketworld Creature Hoodie

The
Rocketworld Creature Hoodies arrived! Dear Daniel likes being a bear...

After some thought, I decided not to get one for myself. I already have a new casual winter jacket; it's cream colored with a faux fur trim, and I got a new one last year, too. In that time, DD hasn't gotten one; he needed one more. Yes, we could have both gotten one, but as much as I think everyone would be a lot happier if we all had animal ears and paws on our clothes, I still have this THING about couples who wear the same things. It's kind of revoltingly sickeningly couple-y. So I am happy to see him in his new Creature hoodie!

The Pink-N-Purple Hula Hoop

Someone cleverly made this hula hoop out of some kind of plastic piping from the hardware store, and then wrapped it in pretty tape. It's make of four parts, and comes apart for storage. It's more weighty than your average toy store hula hoop, too, and thus more fun to hula hoop with. Being a sucker for such things, I bought it ($25) and have been having a great time hula hooping around the house ever since!

Holiday Family Dysfunction

Everyone thinks their family is the most dysfunctional family on the planet. But mine really is!
Today I get to see my sister. Back up - I have a sister. She is five. I didn't even know my dad was dating anyone (my parents are divorced and my mom is remarried) till one Father's Day about six years ago, he dropped the bomb on me that he was having a baby. He was just on the cusp of sixty, and I was more than old enough to be having my own baby, so it was weird.
"Are you partnered?" I asked, puzzled.
"No," he replied.
"Well, are you in love?" I asked.
"Uh, no," he replied.
"WELL WHO'S THE MOTHER?!" I yelled.
Turns out she is a friend, a friend with whom my dad had often complained that he has a contentious friendship with. It annoyed him that she always argued for the sake of arguing (well, hell, she's a trial attorney, what the hell did he expect?!), that she doesn't read books, only money magazines, and that's she's supremely disinterested in the arts and nature. My dad is a dreamer; cerebral to the point of being in outer space, leftist, a catch-release fly fisherman, and basically an aging hippie. They had a contentious friendship well before the baby was conceived. I'm still trying to figure out what happened and how, while trying to block out the anatomical details.

I haven't exactly been blocked from having a relationship with my sister, but let's just say my dad and Baby Mama haven't exactly fostered one. When the baby was born, no one called me, as I'd requested. I kept calling Baby Mama's parents' house and someone kept answering who spoke only Cantonese. When it was clear I didn't speak Cantonese, they hung up on me. After a few days and about thirty tries, I had to ask a Cantonese-speaking friend of mine to call for me. Then, when the baby was an infant, I was told I could not see her yet because in Chinese tradition, only FAMILY can see the baby for the first month. After that I didn't speak to my dad for about a year. I finally met the baby at a family reunion (my uncle's 70th birthday) where everyone was there so I kind of had to make nice.

It's all very strange, and I've had my feelings hurt enough times by my dad and Baby Mama that I've just had to let go of any expectations and rosy dreams of having a cute little baby sister. For one thing, they live in Los Angeles and I live in San Francisco. However, Baby Mama's parents and siblings live in San Francisco and they visit often. When they do, my dad usually wants to visit me and crash at my apartment because he's not comfortable at Baby's Grandparents' house. He says it's crowded, and "They only speak Chinese," he complains to me.
"Well, they're first-generation Chinese, Dad, what the hell do you expect?" I say. There is a world of difference between first generation Chinese and third generation Japanese American; they may as well be aliens from other planets trying to parent this child together.

I still don't get the relationship between my dad and Baby Mama, nor do I know what the relationship will ever be between my sister and me. But they're in town this weekend. Yes Baby Mama and the baby are staying at the Chinese grandparents' house, while my dad is staying with me and Dear Daniel a few blocks away (walking distance!). It is weird, it is dysfunctional, it is sad and confusing. But I am excited to see my sister again and give her the presents I have been collecting for her.

Here's to dysfunctional families!

Young Lovebirds

Over the past few months, I've seen this twenty-four year old guy I know fall in love for the first time. Well, I have't really SEEN it, I've just heard about it. He's an acquaintance through my work, and because he's the delivery person for one of the restaurants we sell to, I see him every day when he comes for his beets, carrots and chives. He's usually the first driver in each day, at least after I get there - they start coming at 3 am, but I'm not there till around 6:45. He comes at 7:00 or 7:05. We always say good morning and ask each other how our evenings were the night before. He's been to my house and to an art show my friend was doing - we're kind of friendly.
Well, he fell in love. He went from giving me a rather crass Too Much Info a few months ago: "GUESS WHAT?! I HAD SEX LAST NIGHT!" (punctuated with Butthead-like giggles - of Beavis and Butthead) to going home for the holidays with Free Sex Girl over Thanksgiving, to telling me today, "I think I sorta fell in love with her last weekend. She used to vounteer at this mental hospital, and we went there to visit, and all the nurses and patients were like saying her name and they all loved her, and she was so beautiful there. I don't know! I think I'm going to ask her if she wants to live with me!" This was followed by a rather wild-eyed, messy-haired dazed look. He looked at me somewhat shyly, as if expecting me to laugh at him or put down his idea.
He said they eat out a lot now and he looked forward to making food together. That touched me. At some point I thought, it's so cool; I am seeing a glimpse of a boy becoming a man.