Work Drag

Each work situation requires a different wardrobe. Or maybe it's just that I've had such a hodgepodge of random disconnected jobs that it's been that way for me. A person's resume is supposed to look like that person has had increasing levels of responsibility all within the same or similar fields... I've been a high school teacher, a person who talks about sex and sex toys and dirty videos to customers on the telephone, a friggin' "headset specialist" (including headphones and conferencers! Must not forget those!), a receptionist, a writer... everything but a circus clown. A bad resume is kind of like bad credit. You're doomed, at least for the next several years.

As I recently mentioned, I managed to score a new job despite the resume that clearly says I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. My previous job involved a wet warehouse and frequent chores such as taking out a very heavy bucket of sludgy compost, cleaning catering trays of baked-on lasagna, frittata and/or polenta in a sink smaller than the trays themselves, the high probability of finding a dessicated mouse in a long-forgotten trap here and there. Even though I worked in the office, as opposed to in the warehouse, it was not a place for fancy clothes, although someone I worked with did come to work in ugly poly-blend suits that looked, from the span of the shoulder pads, like she must have acquired them in the 80's. She also wore pumps, which sounded like gunshots when she walked on the hard floors. My work clothes consisted of jeans, clean sneakers and Juicy Couture hoodies. If I had to do something dirty and wet I would take off my hoodie and sneakers and quickly change into the beat up fleece jacket and dirty sneakers I left there all the time.

When I was a teacher, I wore suits, because I was young and teaching high schoolers. I wore nothing that a nun wouldn't wear. I didn't even wear skirt suits. Only pant suits. My mom (also a teacher) was so thrilled that she bought me a bunch of nice clothes for work. I was also super skinny then, because being a new teacher was so stressful, and I think my mom was secretly thrilled about that, too, and enjoyed dressing me up like a doll.

At the sex toy company (after my teaching stint) we could wear whatever the hell we wanted. I favored short pleated skirts and an array of slutty, expensive shoes... the kind of shoes I always admired as works of art, but didn't buy many of because I could never wear them during the work week. I worked in a little office with only other women and gay men, so it felt very safe to dress however I wanted. It was for me, and not to impress or attract or make a statement to anyone else.

This has been my first week working in Business Casual drag. My bosses are more formal, but they have titles like CEO and Vice President of Business Development. The other women who have a title like mine ("Coordinator") dress "business casual". I don't want to spend a lot of money on clothes I wouldn't necessarily wear if I had my choice, so I bought a lot of them at discount stores like Nordstrom Rack. It's black slacks and little pink sweater one day. Gray pants and little baby blue sweater another day. Pinstriped pants and cream sweater Wednesday. To make it look like I have more clothes than I do, I plan to wear the same things next week, but add different scarves and necklaces! I think Fridays are "jeans day", because I was interviewed on a Friday and I do remember seeing more than one pair of jeans that day. So today I'm wearing my current favorite jeans, flats and a loose navy blue silk tunic thing that has cream, citron and gray chevron stripes. That said, it's time to get ready for work!