19 July 2007

Toilet Seat Covers... P - f*ing - lease!



I went to a paper store this morning, and having had a glass of water and a cup of coffee and walked around the store about ten times, I had to pee. Why on earth would I take a photograph of Kelly Paper's rather average and unexciting bathroom, you ask?
Because it has a very special, very sanitary, very comforting thing that the bathrooms at my work do not- yes indeed - TOILET SEAT COVERS.

We have 101 employees, and four bathrooms with a total of five toilets. One bathroom and toilet belongs to the Human Resources manager and is attached to her office. Yes, she has a private bathroom. That's twenty five people per toilet for the rest of us.
"Can we have toilet seat covers?" I asked our resident person with a Master's degree in Public Health. She loves to make people cross at the crosswalk instead of running across the road, she loves to chastize us for not putting the cream cheese on ice, and she likes to tell people they're too fat and should ride a bike more. I figured she would take up the cause of the toilet seat covers once I got her going on it, but she didn't! I told her I know we can't catch STDs from a toilet seat, but still, people SPRAY and DRIBBLE. It was very fun saying this to this prissy woman, so much fun that I added in a loud whisper, "Menstrual blood...I dunno... kinda gross..."

So she tried to pass the buck to me by telling me to research what kinds are best for the environment, etc. I passed it back to her by saying I didn't have a preference as to what type or brand we get. "Whatever you choose is fine," I wrote.

Honestly, we're not all good friends enough to simply share unprotected toilet seats. Yes, there are a few people there with whom I would not mind sharing a meal, a car ride, or a movie with, but that doesn't mean a toothbrush, our saliva, OR A TOILET SEAT! It's just so barbaric... I hate it...and she should get the damned toilet seat covers, since she's the busybody, preachy annoying Health and Safety nutcase and head of the Health and Safety Committee!

3 comments:

More Turkish Delight said...

Be careful. It's a slippery slope... Next thing you know there'll be band-aids and eye drops.

Mx said...

I fought the same battle in our office several years ago... I finally won them over and we have toilet seat covers in the bathrooms.

I am shocked at how little they are used.... So tell your resident person that they are relatively inexpensive to purchase (your janitoral service probably supplies them)...

The scarier thing might be the bathroom faucets and the doorhandles...

lets not even talk about phone receivers!!! ACK!

Heidi on Vashon said...

I'm grossed out. I should not have read this while getting dinner ready! LOL