Abducted by aliens.

An hour and a half ago I had Lasik eye surgery. I'm supposed to keep my eyes closed for 4-6 hours. My eyes are closed right now, actually. DD is typing for me as I dictate. This is awesome. I think I could probably finally write my novel if we did this all the time.
Before I had this procedure I talked to several people who had had the procedure before, as well as reading about it on the internet. Everybody says something different about what it's like. One person said, "It's no big deal. It's so easy!" One person said his brother said his eyes were numb the whole time -- he didn't feel anything. One person told me her eyes were in actual pain afterward for several hours. And one lady who actually works at the surgeon's office described the sensation as, "Having your eyeballs sucked." That was worrisome.
They offered me a Valium. At the time, I was feeling perfectly calm and declined. But an hour later, after lots of tests had been done and pictures of my eyeballs taken and I was led into a room and told to lie down on this inverted thing with a circle for my head I started getting nervous and wished I had taken the Valium. A few minutes later when they started TAPING MY EYELASHES TO MY EYELIDS I really wished I had taken the Valium. The next thing I knew they pivoted my head under this crazy, futuristic, space-age looking laser thing and I suddenly realized that it was exactly like this recurring dream I have in which I'm being abducted by aliens and the aliens are getting ready to do some examinations/experiments on my eyes. The doctor then inserted some things into my eyes to hold them open (I don't know what they were; I don't even want to know) and at some point he told me there would be some pressure on my eye and there was, which freaked me out so much I thought I was going to throw up. The next thing you know, everything went black, presumably when he was cutting a flap in my cornea sooooooo freaky. Then, I was instructed to look at this light while they lasered my eye. Then I started having a déjà vu which was really freaky and which probably indicates I was abducted by aliens at some point... I did grow up in the desert... it was very rural... there were many drunken, unaccounted for evenings spent with friends or staggering around under the influence of tequila. Next came the smell of my own burning eye-flesh which was disgusting and somewhat embarrassing much like a fart. At this point, I told the doctor, "I'm really sorry you have to smell my eye burning. That's really gross." He then told me that that's why he wears a mask and also that there is a suction thing near my eye sucking most of the smoke away. Sooooo gross.
This whole process was repeated on the other eye and it was just as gross. Now I'm home sitting here with my eyes closed. So this is what Lasik is really like, no Pollyanna bullshit... It's gross, you smell your own flesh burning, weird stuff is being done to your eye and you might flashback to the time you were abducted by aliens. All I have to say is: 1) I could've bought a lot of clothes for $4600.
2) I really hope that when I wake up tomorrow I'll be able to see perfectly, it will be like a miracle, and worth it.