When Bra Straps Fail

Every so often, it's good to go and be "properly fitted" for a bra. Personally, I like the women who work at Nordstrom. In my experience, they're no-nonsense and they don't sugarcoat anything. As much as it hurts, it was important for me to hear that I'm an A cup, shattering my delusions of B-cup grandeur. This was proclaimed as a salesperson cocked her head to the side and said, "See that gap between the bra and your skin? That's because the CUPS ARE TOO BIG and that means you're not getting the right support." She proceeded to pack me into smaller and smaller bras till we settled on one with SUPPORT and PADDING. Meanwhile, in the dressing room next to me, another customer was whining, "But this feels really tight..." as she tried on a new bra, to which her salesperson replied, "That's because your old bra is all stretched out, so it feels really comfortable to you, but it's not really giving you the right support." Snap. I learned a lot of things in the Nordstrom lingerie dressing room: that if your straps fall down, you're not getting the right support and the band that goes around your back is doing all the work... that lace is pretty and all but ultimately you need some smooth bras or it will look like you have a rash when you wear tee shirts... that you have to try every bra on because one manufacturer's sizing is different from another's.

My current favorite everyday bra is the push up iBra by Wacoal. As much as I hate this name (at first I thought it was a bra with some kind of special pocket for your iPod), I love the bra. It's smooth, padded, tagless ("tagless" is another lingerie salesperson word that means there are no itchy tags inside the bra), comfortable and gives an awesome silhouette.

Home Sweet Home

For a while now, my coworker has been buying a house. She's a single (divorced) woman in her late-late 40's and she's a director at a non-profit. We have a staff of about 15 and four of them are directors. I actually think our organization is extremely top-heavy, leaving just four of us to support all these executives who don't know how to use their phones and who think the garbage disposal is a trash compactor. I am now Executive Assistant to THREE people, in addition to doing all the shmutz that the Marketing Director was doing before she left to have a baby, being the benefits administrator, and answering endless questions from a receptionist whom we hired because... well, she's never been a receptionist before, and the other day asked me, "What are binder clips?" so I'm still pondering why we hired her. I like her, though. She's cheerful and nice, and has taken several crap-tastic duties from me, such as "reconciling the petty cash" and "going to the bank to make the deposit." Things are going smoothly so I don't have any real complaints right now. It's just that working 8:00 ish - 5:30 in a small office just sometimes feels like a movie or TV show ABOUT an office, where the thing that makes the show funny is that it's the characters on the show that are experiencing the ridiculous situations, not you, the viewer. Well, it's like I'm IN one of those shows, and the show doesn't end in an hour or half an hour, and the joke, or the frustration, or the ridiculousness is on me.

But I digress. This woman has been buying a house (and we know allll about it because we've heard allllll about it, every step of the way, no details spared). I'm happy for her... I just wish she's buy it and have a housewarming party already so I can enjoy her success and you know, have a drink. So yesterday she comes to the front office area where I work and announced to those of us who work there (none of us there own a house) that she's now officially a homeowner. My coworker Krystal, who was grumpy, had not eaten and who had just taken six straight hours of notes in a meeting looked up, smiled weakly and said, "That's great... congratulations!" and I screeched, "YAYYYY!!!! and threw my paper napkin up in the air. I told her had I known it was going to be official that day I would have gotten shreds ready to toss all over her.

Sometimes I look at her and wonder what she'd look like with a nose job, and I also wonder why, if she can afford a house, why she's not already gotten a nose job. And I'm not just being sour, shallow and bitchy, although I acknowledge that I am in part being sour, shallow and bitchy. I realize this is why she owns a house and I throw my money away on rent... because my priorities are screwed and because I'd rather get a nose job than save for a house.

Well: home sweet home.

Homage to Flylady

For two and a half years I have been following the advice of Flylady, an online organization coach whose system helps you get your shit together, like get your house super clean and organized and even eat better and have more money. The system is free; you just join a mailing list and receive several instructional emails daily.

It's rather difficult to explain, but a lot of people are really into it; it has a cult following! The Flylady is the very encouraging, kind woman who lives in the South; she's in her 50's (I think this because her husband is retired), and she's just this very sweet, unassuming woman who tells you to take "baby steps" and she has a lot of cute phrases like, "Purple Puddles" and "reboot your laundry". She also calls exercise "loving movement" and tells people to get 15 minutes of Loving Movement per day.

DD and I have been following the Flylady off and on (I'd say more on than off) since sometime in 2006, and I daresay her system works! My apartment is pretty much always presentable, our laundry is never overwhelming, and my closet is color coded. I paid off a large debt and am getting laser eye surgery without having gotten a raise. It's kind of amazing, actually, because it all happens through a series of what she calls "baby steps" so you never really know the point at which your life changed, you just look up two years later and it's changed! So, I owe a big thanks to Flylady!

The latest is I finally got a pair of sneakers to wear inside the house only. This may sound crazy, like why not just wear your shoes inside and out, or why not just take off your shoes and go around in your socks if you want your floors to stay really clean? The idea is that you should do housework wearing clothes and shoes so you don't hurt yourself and so your body is supported and energized. But you might not want to wear your outdoor shoes inside, since you're keeping your house really clean, so you need a good pair of shoes that you only wear inside. I've always thought this was one of Flylady's stranger ideas, but since all her other ideas have worked so well for us, I finally got DD and me both the indoor sneakers. So far, it's just kind of funny wearing them, and feels a little silly, but I think I'll like it soon!

The Party's Over

I returned to work today. I survived, but by 10:00 am I had a headache running down the center and back of my head like a Mohawk hairstyle.

The 12 Days of Christmas

For the first holiday season in YEARS, years I tell you, I had Time Off. Paid Time Off! Some years ago I worked at a school and therefore had time off for winter break, but I had to do lesson planning and paper grading and all of that. Then I had some jobs involving selling things online at companies whose names ended in dotcom, so of course Christmas was the busiest time and we got Christmas day off but were selling stuff up till the 24th (and having to tell people, "NO, if you order today on December 24th and pay for overnight shipping, we can't actually get this item to you TOMORROW... why? Because it's Christmas... yes, I've heard of Zappos... yes... I know they get your shoes to you in one day... but I guarantee your shoes are not coming on Christmas day... fine, well, just call them and try to get a dildo from Zappos... thanks, goodbye, Merry Christmas to you, too."

Then I went to work for a vegetable company for about two years. People don't stop eating on holidays; in fact, people eat MORE, and need lots of sweet potatoes and russet potatoes and yellow onions other things that come in 50-pound boxes, and everyone needs to Pitch In to Keep Our Company Running during the holiday food-fest.

In 2008 I started working at a school, and not as a teacher, but as an Admin. The school's "admin offices" shut down between December 24th and Jan 4th. I had 12 whole days off, with pay! Even though I've had a cold for a full two weeks, it's been HEAVEN. I organized my closets, went to the library and read some novels, threw a small New Year's Eve party during which 8 people consumed 7 bottles of champagne, watched every episode of "Heroes" that has been released to Netflix so far, went for some walks, had a few shopping adventures, and did not much else.

I return to work tomorrow... the realization of which I'm not dealing with very well!