Scent Free

I've worked at two "scent free" workplaces in the past five years. Scent free means you're not supposed to wear perfume or use any weird chemicals because people may have allergies or sensitivities to the scents or chemicals. While I would appreciate not having to smell perfumes, say for instance CLINIQUE HAPPY (hate!), the scent free standard just doesn't really work at all. It mostly works on the honor system. Those who don't get it or who don't want to get it will still come to work doused in their usual perfumes. And then there are those who smell like mildew and body odor. I daresay I'd rather they smell like the dreaded Clinique Happy.

I have one co-worker who is allergic to lavender scent. The interesting part, the part that evokes some skepticism, is that she's allergic to real lavender and she also freaks out if she smells fake, chemical lavender. Another person says she hates the smell of mint. She told me this because I was wiping down the kitchen with unscented, natural spray cleaner to which I had added a few drops of peppermint oil. "Do you not use mint toothpaste?" I asked her. She just repeated that she hates mint.

When "scent free" doesn't work on the honor system, or people don't honor it, the scent police at work (oh yes there are self-appointed Scent Police!) will point out that you smell like something. A passive-aggressive, "Huh. You smell like something... huh. PERFUME?" with the word perfume uttered with shock, disbelief, triumph and scorn.

I don't wear perfume to work, like I don't get the little atomizer and SPRAY myself before heading off to work, but I certainly do use soap, shampoo and hair products, and then body lotion that has some very slight fragrance to it, and deodorant. Plus I add a few drops of lemongrass oil or tangerine oil to our laundry as its drying, but that's because our detergent is completely unfragranced, so our clothes smell like nothing instead of smelling like Tide or whatever. I really don't think I smell like much. Maybe if you get close to me and whisper something to me you'll smell something. I feel like I'm being a good citizen of work by not wearing perfume or scented stuff to work, and it really annoys the hell out of me when people actually wear perfume, like they purposely sprayed it on that morning! It also really pisses me off when people smell like BO or rotting socks or when the company owner's dog pisses or poops inside the building. Or when high level managers walk by smelling like a weed dealer. That's the really annoying part of the scent-free workplace... the hypocrisy and the flagrant disregard of the rule!